Good Morning, or Good Afternoon, or Good Evening,
this post should take approximately five minutes to read from start to finish.
This post focuses on a May 2004 BYU Devotional, and it's called "A Gospel of Relationships" by Sister Marleen Williams. This post is part two, I would like to share with you some highlights whilst I was reading the Devotional.
Sister Williams has mentioned the following;
"... There is then no way to provide support for each other in overcoming those weaknesses and challenges. ... When you can openly discuss weaknesses and problems without fear of rejection or ridicule, you can create a “safe place” in the relationship. ... When you can let go of perfectionism, it is easier to feel emotionally close to others. ... Whether or not you have the opportunity to date, meet a romantic partner, and marry at this stage of your life, you can still progress toward that goal by learning how to have good friendships with others.
... God’s plan for eternal marriage vs. Satan’s plan to destroy relationships. ... Learn how to be friends first, as the foundation for the relationship. Add the capstone of romantic attraction last. A relationship where you can be friends and share thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values, activities, and interests with one another is more likely to stay on fire than one that can share only physical attraction. ... Many young people fear making a commitment to marriage because they fear they cannot keep love alive.
Others may also mistakenly believe, “If I can only find the ‘right one,’ then my marriage will be perfectly happy all of the time and we will never have any problems.” How do you stay in love with someone through all of the challenges of real life, e.g., raising children, disappointments, trials, and discovering each other’s weaknesses ...? ... A person may enter marriage with the belief “If my spouse truly loves me, he or she will always think what I think, want what I want, and feel what I feel.
 |
| "God's love is simply always there." - Thomas S. Monson. |
Then I will know I have married the ‘right’ person.” ... In reality, all marriages have differences. People enter into marriage having different genetics, backgrounds, childhood experiences, family dynamics, traditions, and personal meanings of events.
... In troubled marriages individuals are often quick to jump to the most condemning, negative explanations for their spouse’s behavior. You can explain most behaviors in more than one way. When multiple explanations are available, choosing with charity and compassion will strengthen goodwill in the marriage. It is helpful to communicate this goodwill and good intentions to one another. ... Often those differences between marriage partners are what attracted you to each other in the first place.
Differences can help to fill the gaps in abilities that may be missing in our own personality and help to round out the family. ... These subtle differences between the two parents can help the child to get a more balanced experience in the family than if one parent’s style must always prevail. The child needs to learn both courage as well as tenderness. If the parents are caught in an argument over whose response is correct, the child may miss the benefit of the gifts of both parents. When couples disagree, they often waste time and emotional energy trying to attach blame to each other.
Each believes that the other is at fault and that convincing the spouse of his or her guilt will then solve the problem. They may also believe that nothing can change unless their spouse changes first. The argument goes back and forth like a Ping-Pong ball, but nothing ever really changes. ... In this dialog neither is willing to accept responsibility for their own need to grow, because neither will let go of what they cannot change in the other. It remains a battle of who must change first. Neither will accept the challenge to grow and become more like Christ unless the other does so first.
Accepting responsibility is the beginning of real personal power in relationships. If you can be courageous and loving with yourself, you can begin to look at your own personal areas of needed growth. You are then empowered to have a very different experience. You no longer need to consider yourself a victim who cannot grow because of another’s behavior. Even when you cannot change another, you can still choose to continue your own growth toward becoming a celestial person. ... Taking responsibility for our own growth requires both love and faith.
When we are willing to examine our lives, we become aware of our need for the Atonement. ... As we struggle with our weaknesses, we develop empathy for how hard it is to change and we become less angry with our spouse for not being able to change as quickly as we wish. When we can acknowledge our dependence upon the Atonement, we realize how much Christ loves us.
Christ did not wait to love us until we were perfect, had overcome all our weaknesses, or had fully developed our ability to love him. ... By drawing closer to Christ, we can build our spiritual and emotional reserves and have more love and patience to give to our spouse ... Learning how to love requires that we stretch and extend ourselves in service to another.
... Husbands are commanded to “love [their] wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). Submitting to love means that we allow our hearts to be vulnerable to a righteous spouse. ... In the midst of the miracle of serving, we find ourselves. ... A marriage need not be perfect and without challenges to be one of great joy and peace.
... When we struggle in important relationships and we lack the wisdom we need, these problems can bring us to our knees in prayer. The Lord can then instruct us how to learn to live more closely to an eternal model of relationships. You need not fear the challenges of marriage if you and your spouse will both commit yourselves to this process of learning how to become eternal, celestial companions.
Elder George Q. Cannon said ...: We believe in the eternal nature of the marriage relation, that man and woman are destined, as husband and wife, to dwell together eternally. We believe that we are organized as we are, with all these affections, with all this love for each other, for a definite purpose, something far more lasting than to be extinguished when death shall overtake us. We believe that when a man and woman are united as husband and wife, and they love each other, their hearts and feelings are one, that that love is as enduring as eternity itself, and ... that it will endure through eternity.
If you have not yet found some of these blessings in your life, do not give up. God knows the righteous desires of your heart. He has promised his children that these blessings will eventually be available to all who are faithful and put their trust in the Lord throughout the heartaches, trials, and disappointments of mortality. ... Although God has not revealed all to us in this life and we must walk by faith, He has promised us that through the infinite power of the Atonement we can come forth in the resurrection of the just. ..."
If you would like to read the whole Devotional either now or in your own time, here's the link below.
Stay Tuned until next time.
No comments:
Post a Comment