Courageous Parenting

Good Morning or Good Afternoon or Good Evening, 

this post should take approximately five minutes to read from start to finish.

This post is focuses on a October 2010 General Conference talk called, "Courageous Parenting" by Elder Larry R. Lawrence. I would like to share with you some highlights that I have liked while I was reading the talk. 

Elder Lawrence mentioned, "There are no perfect parents and no easy answers, but there are principles of truth that we can rely on. As we are reminded in the family proclamation, parents are responsible for the protection of their children. That means spiritually as well as physically.

Elder Robert D. Hales has observed, “Sometimes we are afraid of our children, afraid to counsel with them for fear of offending them.” It’s so important for husbands and wives to be united when making parenting decisions. 

If either parent doesn’t feel good about something, then permission should not be granted.

I would like to share with you a letter from a heartbroken mother. Her teenage son gradually lost the Spirit and drifted away from Church activity. She explained how this happened: “All throughout my son’s teenage years, I worried and tried to stop him from playing violent video games. 

I talked to my husband and showed him articles in the Ensign and in the newspaper that cautioned about these games. But my husband felt it was OK. He said that our son wasn’t out using drugs and that I should stop worrying. There were times that I would hide the controllers, and my husband would give them back. 

"What the world really needs is courageous parenting
from mothers and fathers who are not afraid to
speak up and take a stand."
    

It began to be easier for me to give in … than to fight it. I really feel that gaming is just as addictive as drugs. I would do anything to prevent other parents from going through this experience.” Brothers and sisters, if your spouse doesn’t feel good about something, show respect for those feelings. 

When you take the easy way out by saying and doing nothing, you may be enabling destructive behavior. There is a great deal of wisdom displayed when parents stay up and wait for their children to return home. Young men and women make far better choices when they know their parents are waiting up to hear about their evening and to kiss them good night. 

Peer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence and when their defenses are weakened late at night. Always be prayerful when it comes to protecting your precious children. One of the most effective ways we can influence our sons and daughters is to counsel with them in private interviews. 

By listening closely, we can discover the desires of their hearts, help them set righteous goals, and also share with them the spiritual impressions that we have received about them. Counseling requires courage. Satan and his followers are striving to bring this generation down; the Lord is counting on valiant parents to bring them up.

I know that God hears and will answer your prayers. I testify that the Lord supports and blesses courageous parents." If you would like to read the whole talk either now or in your own time, here is the link below.

www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/courageous-parenting

Stay Tuned until next time. 

Parents and Children: Listening, Learning, and Loving ~ Part Two

    Good Morning or Good Afternoon or Good Evening, 

this post should take three minutes to five minutes to read from start to finish.

This post is focuses on a New Era article from February 2011 and it is called, "Parents and Children: Listening, Learning, and Loving" by Elder M. Russell Ballard. This post is part two, and I would like to share with you some highlights while I was reading the article and I hope you will learn something new while you are reading this post.

Elder Ballard has mentioned, To Mothers and Daughters

Sisters, we, your brethren, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman.

But because all women have within their divine nature both the inherent talent and the stewardship to mother, most of what I will say applies equally to grandmothers, aunts, sisters, stepmothers, mothers-in-law, leaders, and other mentors who sometimes fill the gaps for these significant mother-daughter relationships.

Young women, your mothers adore you. They see in you the promise of future generations. Everything you accomplish, every challenge you overcome brings them pure joy. And likewise your worries and heartaches are their worries and heartaches.

Daughters

It is, unfortunately, all too easy to illustrate the confusion and distortion of womanhood in contemporary society. Popular culture today often makes women look silly, inconsequential, mindless, and powerless. It objectifies them and disrespects them and then suggests that they are able to leave their mark on mankind only by seduction easily the most pervasively dangerous message the adversary sends to women about themselves.

Please look to your faithful mothers for a pattern to follow. Model yourselves after them, not after celebrities whose standards are not the Lord’s standards and whose values may not reflect an eternal perspective. Look to your mother.

Learn from her strengths, her courage, and her faithfulness. Listen to her. But when it comes to matters of the heart and the things of the Lord, she has a wealth of knowledge. As you approach the time for marriage and young motherhood, she will be your greatest source of wisdom. No other person on earth loves you in the same way or is willing to sacrifice as much to encourage you and help you find happiness in this life and forever.

Love your mother, my young sisters. Respect her. Listen to her. Trust her. She has your best interests at heart. She cares about your eternal safety and happiness. So be kind to her. Be patient with her imperfections, for she has them. We all do.

Mothers

Teach your daughters to find joy in nurturing children. This is where their love and talents can have the greatest eternal significance. ... Mothers, teach your daughters that a faithful daughter of God avoids the temptation to gossip or judge one another. All youth will be more likely to make and keep covenants if they learn how to recognize the presence and the voice of the Spirit. 

Teach your daughters about things of the Spirit. Point them to the scriptures. Give them experiences that will help them cherish the blessing of priesthood power in their lives. Through keeping covenants they will learn to hear the voice of the Lord and receive personal revelation. God will truly hear and answer their prayers.

Conclusion

Three things you can do to make your relationship with your parents better than it is right now:

1. Trust your parents
2. Take an interest in their lives
3. Ask your parents for advice"

If you would like to read the whole article in your own time, here is the link below.
www.lds.org/new-era/2011/02/parents-and-children-listening-learning-and-loving

Parents and Children: Listening, Learning, and Loving ~ Part One

   Good Morning or Good Afternoon or Good Evening, 

this post should take approximately five minutes to read from start to finish.

This post is focuses on a New Era article from February 2011 and it is called, "Parents and Children: Listening, Learning, and Loving" by Elder M. Russell Ballard. This post is part one, and I would like to share with you some highlights while I was reading the article and I hope you will learn something new while you are reading this post.

Elder Ballard has mentioned, "To Fathers and Sons, Young men, you are your father’s pride and joy. In you they see a promising future and their hope for a better, improved version of themselves. Your accomplishments are a joy to them. Your worries and problems are their worries and problems.

Sons

1. Trust your father.
He is not perfect, but he loves you and would never do anything he didn’t think was in your best interest. So talk to him. Share your thoughts and feelings, your dreams and your fears. The more he knows about your life, the better chance he has to understand your concerns and to give you good counsel. .. Your Dad wants more than anything for you to be happy and successful, ..

2. Take an interest in your father’s life.
Ask about his job, his interests, his goals. How did he decide to do the work that he does? What was he like when he was your age? How did he meet your mother? Think about what you don’t know about him and find out. Your love, admiration, and understanding will increase by what you learn.

3. Ask your father for advice.
Let’s be honest: he is probably going to give you his advice whether you ask for it or not, but it just works so much better when you ask! .. Nothing shows respect for another person as much as asking for his advice, because what you are really saying is, “I appreciate what you know and the experiences you have had, and I value your ideas and suggestions.”

"Children desperately need parents
willing to listen to them." - M. Russell Ballard.

Fathers

1. Listen to your sons, really listen to them.
Ask the right kind of questions, and listen to what your sons have to say each time you have a few minutes together. You need to know not to guess but to know what is going on in your son’s life. Your sons live in a very different world from the one in which you grew up. As they share with you what’s going on, you will have to listen very carefully and without being judgmental in order to understand what they are thinking and experiencing.

2. Pray with and for your sons.
Give them priesthood blessings. A son who is worried about a big exam or a special event will surely benefit from a father’s priesthood blessing. .. One-on-one prayer and the sharing of testimonies can draw you closer to each other as well as closer to the Lord.

3. Dare to have the “big talks” with your sons.
You know what I mean: talks about drugs and drinking, about the dangers of today’s media, the Internet, cyber technologies, and pornography and about priesthood worthiness, respect for girls, and moral cleanliness. While these should not be the only subjects you talk about with your sons, please don’t shy away from them. Your boys need your counsel, guidance, and input on these subjects.

I am especially concerned that we communicate openly and clearly with our sons about sexual matters. Your sons simply cannot avoid the blatant sexual imagery, messages, and enticements that are all around them. Be positive about how wonderful and beautiful physical intimacy can be when it happens within the bounds the Lord has set, including temple covenants and commitments of eternal marriage." 

Stay Tuned until next time.