Don't Ever Ask Inappropriate Questions to Newly Weds

Good Morning, or Good Afternoon, or Good Evening, 

this post should take approximately four to six minutes to read from start to finish.

It certainly would seem this post took a lot of courage for me to share and speak up. I can clearly say that it definitely took courage for me to share this post for multiple reasons.

This post focuses on some of the questions that I have been asked by some individuals especially random church members who I barely met throughout my marriage thus far. I hope this post would be able to help and reach out to some individuals prior to getting married. I hope that they would acknowledge to have an understanding or to at least to know that the questions that I would be sharing would kinda be expected to be asked by other people throughout their marriage. 

I am seriously over and done with getting myself into unexpected situations when individuals thinks it is okay when it is totally not okay, and not appropriate to ask me pregnancy related questions including intimacy with my husband, job related questions when I'm not able to legally work in US yet, and so forth.

"It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner."
- Henry D. Taylor.

I often have been asked the following questions, I would like to explain why those questions are inappropriate and I would share a few experiences; 

"Are you pregnant? When are you due? How far along are you? When are you getting pregnant? When are you and your husband are going to start trying to have children? and When are you going to have children?"

I saw a pinterest post that mentions, "Stop asking women when are they getting pregnant. - Because endometriosis, Because PCOS, Because other fertility issues, Because miscarriages, Because they can't afford to, Because mental health, Because congenital heart defects, Because they don't want to!" 

I know that woman bodies are truly powerful but also it can truly destroy someone's life. I must say; my body has done some changes since I have been married, it honestly felt like and look like that I was pregnant. I often got so frustrated even at times when I don't even fully show it after having been asked those sort of questions. I was repeatedly been told by an elderly couple and a few others agreed with them for me to go and see an obstetrician doctor and find out what's going on. I kept delaying, and I refused to see an obstetrician doctor until eventually last month, I finally saw an obstetrician doctor. 

Within a month consist of two obstetrician doctor appointments in person, one obstetrician doctor appointment over a phone call, two different blood tests - total of six vitals that led me either feeling unwell or sore afterwards, two different ultrasound appointments, a pap smear test, and so forth. I didn't ever expected to have what I have now and indeed it did made me a little disappointed but I'm still being hopeful that those two things that I have now would go away on its own either soon or sometime this year. 

"Have you done it? Have you had sex?" I would consider that question is inappropriate because it's not about them to know about your sex life. It should definitely be only between you and your spouse, no one else. 

"As soon as you found out that you're pregnant less than twelve weeks, you are going to share the pregnancy announcement with your family and friends, am I right?" That question is definitely inappropriate, you shouldn't be feeling any kind of pressure when to share the pregnancy announcement at all because someone has told you so. 

It is simply not fair on you and your spouse. You and your spouse should determine when is best to share pregnancy announcement. I WOULDN'T EVER be sharing pregnancy announcements less than twelve weeks into pregnancy. I would share pregnancy announcements when I'm confident and ready to share the exciting news.

"Are you currently employed?" I'm not currently employed because I can't legally work in US yet and I don't have my green card. Even after getting my green card being approved, my husband and I both already agreed on for me to not feeling forced into working. 

"Have you and your husband submitted the federal taxes?" "How did you both do the federal taxes? - like did you had to pay for any fees and also shared information about federal taxes" That question is inappropriate, and very personal. It should be between you and your spouse for submitting federal taxes and how to do it without any troubles. I am so over with reading the same information especially anything that I already know about over and over again. 

Stay Tuned until next time.