The Importance of Balance ~ Part Two

Good Morning or Good Afternoon or Good Evening, 

this post should take approximately five minutes to read from start to finish. 

This post focuses on a Brigham Young University (BYU) Devotional in June 1998, and it is called "The Importance of Balance" by Elder W Eugene Hansen. This post is part two and I would like to share some highlights while I was reading the Devotional. 

Elder Hansen has mentioned the following; 

"Family

A very important part of achieving balance is having a good family life. We all have the responsibility to be dutiful children, and as we find our life’s companion, to be a good spouse and a good parent. We will never be released from these responsibilities. ...

It is so important to realize that children need both a dad and a mom. It’s pretty hard for one to do both. And we shouldn’t try to justify our absence or neglect by reasoning that we’re doing all this for a spouse or children. Often our time is the most precious and valuable gift we can give our children.

... I have one other important suggestion with respect to the family. I always tried to let the children feel their father’s testimony and know how important the gospel was in my life.

Prayer was an important part of our family life. We had a rule in our home that none of our children left the house in the morning without having family prayer. We defined family prayer as a kneel-down prayer with both of the parents depending on availability or with at least one if the other was gone. Sometimes it was necessary to have more than one family prayer in the morning, as we would not wake up the youngest children to have prayer when others were leaving for early morning meetings, classes, or seminary activity.

We also followed the custom of giving father’s blessings each year as school began and at such times during the year as there was need for comfort, direction, guidance, or healing, as the case might be.

You may also want to dedicate your home when you are fortunate enough to have one. I believe it was eight years before we were able to extricate ourselves from the rental game and purchase our first home. And remember, it’s not necessary to have it all paid for before you dedicate it.

Now, an important tip: ... We enjoyed traveling, and consequently we took some trips during the early years of our marriage. Not long ones. Usually less than a week. Often members of our extended family were able to help with the children.

Church

We have always accepted Church calls and assignments as they have come. It seemed we found a way to take care of those responsibilities and yet felt we were not neglecting our family or professional obligations. As you do the Lord’s work, you receive blessings in so many ways blessings that make up for the extra time and effort that go into fulfilling a Church calling with a “well done, thou good and faithful servant” result (Matthew 25:21).

And it goes without saying, we should keep the commandments, attend our meetings, pay our tithes and offerings, read the scriptures, show respect for parents and Church leaders, and always be conscious of the importance of example.

"With balance comes happiness and inner peace.
How unfortunate it is that some work a lifetime
on a goal like making money or attaining social status,
only to find that these things do not bring real happiness."

Work

One of the greatest challenges is balancing work and family responsibilities in order that neither go wanting. Of course the family must have sufficient money to take care of needs, but, beyond that, money has very little to do with happiness. ...

Remember the counsel in Jacob 2:18–19: But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.

As we continue to lead busier lives, it seems we never have time to do all the things we would like to do or perhaps even need to do. My father gave me some helpful advice as a young man. It has application to both men and women: “Do the most important thing first.” That rule along with setting sound priorities is the best way I know of balancing work with the other aspects of living. ...

Maintaining Spirituality

Now a few words concerning spirituality. If we who have received the greater light the gospel gives are to be true to the faith and effective in our various fields of endeavor, we must be ever sensitive to our level of spirituality.

We should be constantly providing nourishment to our spiritual side. Scriptures, conference reports, counsel given by the Brethren, lesson manuals, and gospel texts provide excellent sources for “treasuring up” the word.

Fasting and prayer also provide nourishment for the soul.

In addition to seeking the positive, we should also avoid the negative. ... We don’t need to view R-rated movies to know that they are not good for us. Nor do we need to become familiar with the ways of the world in order to know that certain conduct or practices are demeaning and offensive to the Spirit.

If those who have been endowed in the temple live worthy of and have a current temple recommend in their possession, high levels of spirituality will be maintained. In summary then, if we are to achieve balance in our lives, we must have our priorities in order.

And my priorities go something like this:

Wife

Family

Church

Work

I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ that has been restored upon the earth in these, the latter days. I’m thankful that the Lord has provided us the pattern that will see us safely home to dwell with him. And if we will but follow the Lord’s prophets here on earth, there will be joy, happiness, and success in this life and the greatest of all the gifts of God the gift of eternal life.

... Real life is response to the best within us. To be alive only to appetite, pleasure, pride, money-making, and not to goodness and kindness, purity and love, poetry, music, flowers, stars, God and eternal hopes, is to deprive one’s self of the real joy of living. [CR, October 1963, p. 7]

May you develop qualities of courage, faith, and self-control. Use your background and experience in analyzing the choices that are constantly before you. Draw on the Holy Ghost that you are privileged to have and your decisions will be much wiser.

Don’t let habits and excuses interfere with proper choices. Those who rely on excuses at best have only the excuse and not the blessing.

Hear Elder Richard L. Evans on this subject: No matter how good an excuse may be, no reason for failure or defection is ever so satisfying to ourselves or to anyone else as is actually doing what we should do, or delivering on the date that something is due. Excuses are at best a second-choice substitute.

It is a surpassing quality in life to follow through, to keep commitments, to keep the commandments, and no matter how ingenious our excuses are, they don’t cancel commitments, or justify our failures, or relieve us from answering before the highest bar, unless they are founded on real, valid reasons—and not merely on our comfort or convenience. [Richard L. Evans, From the Crossroads [New York: Harper, 1955], p. 20]

... President Spencer W. Kimball provides us with an appropriate reminder: The Lord’s program is unchangeable. His laws are immutable. They will not be modified. Your opinion or mine does not alter the laws. Many in the world, and even some in the Church, seem to think that eventually the Lord will be merciful and give them the unearned blessing. But the Lord cannot be merciful at the expense of justice. [The Miracle of Forgiveness (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969), p. 249]

... May we be wise enough and valiant enough to embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ; may we cleanse the inner vessel; may we come unto Christ and be perfected in him and deny ourselves of all ungodliness. And may we strive to achieve the balance that will bring everlasting peace and happiness into our lives. ..."

If you would like to read the whole Devotional either now or in your own time, here's the link below.

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/w-eugene-hansen/importance-balance

Stay Tuned until next time.

The Importance of Balance ~ Part One

 Good Morning or Good Afternoon or Good Evening, 

this post should take approximately five minutes to read from start to finish. 

This post focuses on a Brigham Young University (BYU) Devotional in June 1998, and it is called "The Importance of Balance" by Elder W Eugene Hansen. This post is part one and I would like to share some highlights while I was reading the Devotional. 

Elder Hansen has mentioned the following; 

"... There is a sense of enthusiasm and industry, a sense of respect and determination, a sense of confidence and spirituality all of which inspires confidence by the visitors, in you the student body, the faculty, and the Church. That should be reassurance to you of how the world needs a generation of young people who know why they are here and where they are going and the direction they need to take to get there.

... It has been my experience that balance is sometimes very elusive as we struggle to meet the pressures and challenges that are ever present. So I hope I can share some thoughts that will be useful in the challenging experience we call life. I think of the definition someone coined: “Life is what happens while you are making other plans.” 

... I commend you for having exhibited the mental and physical discipline that brings you to this point in your life. ... As you continue to make the right choices, you will have tremendous opportunities for continued growth and development.

It is so sad to see poor choices being made at critical times, choices that have very seriously limited the options a person has for future opportunity. No doubt you will continue to see the “poor-choices” factor operating all the days of your life. 

Consider it ongoing evidence for you to make good choices and to be consciously striving to improve yourself each day. I recall a motivational speaker during my teenage years making the statement, “I know of no one to be pitied more than one whose future is in the past.” 

What a sobering thought bad choices seriously compromising opportunities of the future. So if you are tempted to take that dare or to get involved in activities that may appear exciting, give it careful thought. ... Is the potential thrill worth the risks and the baggage that accompany questionable conduct? You have come so far. 

Don’t let bad choices put a ceiling on your upward mobility and, even more important, bring heartache and sorrow and loss of self-respect into your life. I continue to be amazed at the frivolous way in which choices are made by some, both young and old alike decisions that have eternal and everlasting consequences.

... I refer to conduct that leads to loss of virtue or harm or injury to self or other people. ... What a price to pay for such a moment of abandonment, a moment of thoughtlessness. Of course, not every case of addiction or promiscuity or a wasted lifestyle results from just one experiment or just one drink or just one immoral encounter, but unfortunately we are not able to determine just how strong we will be in a given situation or what effect harmful substances will have on us.

I am reminded of a wise father’s counsel: “If you never take the first one, you’ll never need to worry about the second one.” We should all keep in mind that there is no neutral ground between where the Lord’s boundary ends and the adversary’s begins. The safe rule to remember is to stay on the Lord’s side of the line.

Well, you might keep that in mind as a motivator while you are striving for excellence in whatever pursuit you follow.

Personal

With balance comes happiness and inner peace. How unfortunate it is that some work a lifetime on a goal like making money or attaining social status, only to find that these things do not bring real happiness.

Too often we conjure up thoughts in our minds of things we imagine will make us happy. To some extent we may even become jealous or covetous: If only we could afford the nicer clothes that others have or a better house or new furniture or perhaps a different car. If we had just been blessed with a beautiful singing voice or smaller feet or a more perfect profile or athletic prowess, then we could be happy.

... I had other talents and many other opportunities. But for a period of time I almost lost my effectiveness and made myself miserable worrying about something that really was not indispensable to my progression and happiness.

Sometimes we let reverses or unpleasant experiences undermine our confidence and create more turbulence in our lives than they should. Here I don’t mean to imply that all you need to do is keep a smile on your face and everything will be all right. 

Many have had those experiences in life when it hurts so badly inside that, for a short time at least, it may seem hard to go on. If you ever commence feeling that way, you might try quietly humming the hymn “Count Your Blessings” and reviewing the words in your mind. 

.. Think of the problems and difficulties of others who have been required to bear so much. You might also think in terms of “What could I do to be of greater service to others?” I believe it was the legendary jurist Oliver Wendell Holmes who said, “I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving” (The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table [1858], ch. 4). 

... At any given time in a person’s life we may have feelings of inadequacy or ineptness or lack of confidence or ability. But that will fade as you conscientiously stretch and put forth the effort to become a better student or better at whatever you’re doing, or being a more loving husband, wife, and parent. As we hold fast to correct principles, we will continue to move in the right direction.

I hope I go to my grave never having “peaked out,” but rather striving to improve, to do better, to be better, to enhance my ability to serve, and to learn something worthwhile each day.

... I still remember one occasion, as we were leaving, asking if President Romney had any counsel for us as his stake presidency. President Romney paused and then gave us a sermon in a sentence: “Live a little better each day.”

It has always been my belief that a keen sense of personal accountability is necessary to keep a person in balance. Our moral compass needs to be operating efficiently and accurately. Often I sense an individual is tempted to make bad choices through the urging of the adversary. 

He quietly suggests, “No one will ever know.” But we should constantly keep in mind that our Heavenly Father always knows. And he is saddened when we do not live up to what we are capable of. We all know how important prayer is in maintaining balance. 

If you have trouble remembering, here’s a suggestion. Years ago I read about Brigham Young following the practice of never taking any food or drink in the morning before he had his personal prayer. I have followed that practice for more than 20 years now in fact, ever since I was called as a bishop. I commend that practice to you, and I guarantee you won’t forget your prayers.

... Read your patriarchal blessing from time to time. I received mine when I was just about 12 years of age, and it has been a source of inspired direction my entire life. In fact, one of the reasons I stayed active in the army reserve for 30 years was largely because of counsel given in my patriarchal blessing.

Recognize the difference between pleasure and happiness, and then pattern your lives in such a way that you will seek happiness as opposed to mere pleasure. If adversity strikes, don’t succumb to the temptation to counsel the Lord. Pray for strength to get you through. 

President Harold B. Lee used to say: “Never put a question mark where the Lord has put a period.” Wise counsel is also helpful. ... Work at developing self-control. ..." 

Stay Tuned until next time.